Cingular Sucks
& Verizon & T-Mobile & all the rest too

oday I went to the Cingular store to complain about the disappearance of my cell phone service. It disappeared about five days ago. Previously I'd called their 800 service number who informed me that they were upgrading the towers in my area. "Well", says I, "I can wait a few days for that, after all, how long would they leave their customers without service?".

Well, my wife's phone doesn't work either and my step-daughter's ... but they do work as long as both of us are away from home a sufficient distance to get another tower. This just sucks but I wouldn't make a sucks page for just this. Rather, I'm making a sucks page because Cingular is getting away with some illegal shennanigans that really needs to be exposed.

The One-Way Contract

A one way contract is defined by me as one in which the signee (me) bends over and takes it up the poop chute by the party of the first part (hereafter designated as Cingular). Meaning that they draw up the contract ... which I sign ... which they can break at any time ... but I still have to pay $360 to get out of ... because they renigged on it. Is that understandabull?

Let me make it clearer. When I signed the contract, I signed with AT&T. Then, as you recall, Cingular bought up AT&T's cell phone division and became a larger company. Thus, they bought up the AT&T contracts and carried on. This was OK with me ... because I have a contract. Right? Well, not completely.

Now Cingular is changing over to Cingular transmitters and ... the new equipment does not put through calls from the former AT&T customers. Hmmmmm ... I wonder if that is planned ????? Anyway, to correct the problem of "NO SERVICE" ... I ... have to sign a new contract and get two new phones, i.e. pay more money than I contracted for or take a lesser service plan ... in order to have my service restored. Note: the places where it still works are only available because they haven't as yet changed out those towers (excuse me - "upgraded" - to versions that won't work for me) ... and I still have 8 months left on my two year contract.

Now, one would then assume that if a company fails to deliver on its contract (or the contracts that it bought up) ... that I would then be free from the contract as well. Not so, says Cingular. If I wish to go to another provider (from the frying pan into the fire as it were) ... I must pay the contracted (with AT&T) penalty for exiting the contract of ... $180 per phone ... 360 smackers.

Now, that's what I mean by a one-way contract. They can change the content of the contract after I've signed it ... at will ... but I have no such right. To me, this sounds like a class action suit in the making ... because they are going to do this to all those couple million AT&T customers who will be in the same boat sooner or later. They should not have changed the towers till a full two years after acquiring AT&T so that all former AT&T'ers could opt out at the end of their contracts.

And the timing is very suspicious. If I opt out, I need to pay $360. If I stay with the same cell phones which don't work (but send the name of the caller and number and ring your phone and send the first syllable of every tenth word like

"H--, ---k yo- a--ho-e, how ab--- - c--l ph--- st--k -- y--- a--?"
I'd call that a bad case of "no service", wouldn't you?

Cingular's logo

I found out what it is ... it's a glob of Vaseline ... from their customer service department ... for me.

This is simply another example of why I would like to see at least one company in every venue nationalized and run ... cheap as possible ... by anybody at NIST or some other reputable group of government people (well, you're right, there are no other reputable groups in government).

I believe this is true as of 2006. There are no honest men in business in America above the level the lowest management. If we have any decent product in America, it is because of a handful of engineers carrying the businessmen who are now ... EXACTLY ANALOGOUS TO ...


These "men" go from company to company without any pride at all, fuck everybody, and then go to the next company and do the same. And they do it for just one thing ... money. They don't care what the product is, whether it's good or bad ... it doesn't matter. For cash they will pimp anything.

Excuse me ... I apologize to the whores of America who actually perform a useful service ... businessmen don't ... ever.

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