Mas Pockets
a potentially non-stupid fad

T   
his is the stupidest fad ever ... bar none. Why people wear their clothes like this is "fascinating", i.e. I don't understand it. In general, men won't comply with any fashion that "encumbers". That's why people don't wear guns anymore. It's not because it's illegal. It's because they never get a chance to use their gun so it becomes nothing more than a fashion accessory. So, lose it. Why carry around something that's useless and weighs five pounds?

maspock1.gif - 4kb This guy is encumbered very badly. If he was attacked physically, he'd be toast. He can't defend himself because his pants will fall down and he can't run or dodge. We might as well have a fad where you attach a ten pound bowling ball to your leg. Well, why not? It makes just about the same amount of sense. I saw a guy the other day with his pants down to his freakin' knees. I guess maybe this fad is a sign to everybody that the wearer of "pants down" is not a threat as he's all but completely defenseless unless he's got a gun and figures the cops can't get there in the twenty minutes it would take to run a block away.

The girl's version is to cut off the top of the pants and wear them tight. But when they squeeze their belts, it also squeezes their ass and makes it look "square". Girls with square butts are ugly. They need to be pear shaped ... not Sponge Sue Square Pants. For cripe sakes, don't they know how ugly it makes them look? Guess not.

Here's a better fad

It's utilitarian. It's like chaps for the modern city dweller. You buy your regular pants (not the above crap pants where you have to hold onto your balls all day like a pervert). You need a belt.

maspock2.gif - 3kb

You thread the belt through the loops and through your pants in the normal way ... then wrap the strings around behind your legs and back to the front where you tie them ... koooooool. Between the loops there is a gap where you can access your regular pants pocket. There's left and right handed versions so you can just wear one and look Borg if you want. You could make this yourself. If some famous bitch or rapper wore this, it would catch on like ... next day.

I guess you could just put metal hooks to go over your belt instead of the loops. Then you wouldn't have to assemble yourself in the morning. You could just slap it on when needed. Come to think of it ... for a girl ... add a few bigger pockets and it's a purse replacement. I wonder if girls like to carry a purse all the time. Doesn't that get a little tiresome. I don't know ... maybe they need to carry something in their hands to feel like they've got a "nest". But then they're always forgetting their purse somewhere. Since this would be attached to them ... they couldn't lose it.

Now you have extra pockets for all that electronic shit that no pants manufacturer has seen fit to supply you with. And ... some of the pockets are around the thigh where they are maximally protected ... where they won't get hit or sat on and are difficult to "pinch".

Isn't this more sensible for a fad than the above "drop your drawers" style. You get some utility and can be different. They can be jeans or colors like a flag. The adults will laugh at you ... but you will have lots of pockets for your shit and they will have their PDAs smashed in their stupid ass pockets. Ass pockets suck unless what you put there is soft. If you put your wallet there, it's easy to steal and it bends your credit cards and such and causes them to constantly rub inside the wallet and then they don't work in the machine ... and then you have to go to the bank and order another and that takes 2-3 weeks and you can't get any cash at WalMart or even the post office ... you gotta' go to the freakin' bank for cash !!! What a drag.

Down with Down Pants !