The Ten Commandments
4   Religious and 6   Secular

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he Ten Commandments are part of the ongoing religious "con". Note that the first ones are parasitical to the latter ones which are in fact secular principles which predate the Bible by as much as tens of thousands of years. By affixing doctrine at the beginning, religion secures those aspects as "most important" (after all, they're first!).

The secular commandments, which were discovered by Cromagnon man, are placed 2nd as servants of "con" doctrine. But obviously they are much more important and practical. Therefore, to ignorant people who nod their heads "yes" in Pavlovian response to the latter rules ... the first (religious) rules must also be valid since they are in the same document ... which is "all one thing" and thus either true or false ... not partly true and partly false. Well, you can see that "partly" would be a big logical step for a small mind to take.

This is the Hebrew version. The Catholic version which I grew up with splits the last commandment into two pieces in order to expunge the "graven image" prohibition. Statues as such are big revenue of course.



I. I am the Lord thy God, who brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.

Religion is IMPORTANT !

II. Thou shalt have no other gods before Me. Thou shalt not make unto thee a graven image, nor any manner of likeness, of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; Thou shalt not bow down unto them, nor serve them; for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate Me; And showing mercy unto the thousandth generation of them that love Me and keep My commandments.

Love me as I love you ... or I'll kill you !

III. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain; for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that taketh His name in vain.

Respect me ... or I'll kill you !

IV. Remember the sabbath day to keep it holy. Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work. But the seventh day is the sabbath in honour of the Lord thy God; on it thou shalt not do any work, neither thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates; For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day; therefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it.

Gimme your   money   donations ... or I'll kill you !

V. Honour thy father and thy mother; in order that thy days may be prolonged upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.

Here's the crossover. Take care of your parents (or you won't get taken care of) ... purely secular. But on the end, in this version, "upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee" ... What the hell is that doing here?! Obviously, it's a claim of some sort ... on your land ... probably to underwrite a religious seizure of property, i.e. it "belongs to God so we're taking it in his name".

VI. Thou shalt not kill.

This fact was discovered by Roger the "Mammoth Whupper" shortly before the end of the last Ice Age. He discovered that if you kill your fellows it's much harder to bring down a huge beastie (by yourself).

VII. Thou shalt not commit adultery

This was also discovered by Rog who had quite a following of groupies. Unfortunately, some were married to other "Whuppers" who proceeded to open a can of "Whoop-ass" on him.

VIII. Thou shalt not steal.

Discovered by Simon the Slink who stole Rog's hard-earned meat and duly received a portion of the aforementioned can o' Whoop-ass.

IX. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.

Also discovered by Simon when he put the blame on Grock the Mutilator about the above theft ... after the matter was cleared up, Grock proceeded to impart another due portion from the Grock' can o' Whoop-ass.

X. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house; thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.

This caused huge riots during the reign of King Futch IV just before the last Ice Age began. After the bodies were all buried, a new rule was made which went like this (originally) ... "Keep your hands off all my fucking stuff or I'll fucking kill you!"