The Bag

his page considers the 1st, foremost and arguably greatest invention of man.

The Bag

Also called the "sack", "satchel", "purse" ... well, there are hundreds of different names for this most wondrous of inventions. It was invented by Mahgoo (a chimp who lived about 3 million years ago in east Africa). Mahgoo had many, many bananas to transport and tried unsuccessfully to carry them in his arms. They kept falling on the ground.

Then one day, this thought occurred to him, "iiiimppp. gyeeeekch, kwaaah, kawahhh, eeeek eeeek !". And so, the bag was born. And ever since that glorious day none of our belongings have fallen to the floor ... unless ... your plastic from Kroger breaks and dumps before you get to your car ... or ... your potato chip (cheapass cellophane) bag splits down the side and you can no longer seal it with anything short of two rolls of duct tape.

Let Mahgoo speak through me

I am a medium. I can communicate with ancient cliffdwellers and Phoenician guano traders. They speak through me as in a trance. I can feel it coming on now ........................

Mmmmaaaahhhhgggoooooooo! Mmmmaaahhhhgggooooooo!

It is I Mah ... gooooooo ...

Oh great and allwise Mah Goo ...
How can we keep a cheap-ass cellophane bag from ripping down the side?

This you must do. You must do this. You-must-put-a-piece-of-Scotch- tape-around-it-at-the-top-of-the-bag.
Then ... the ... side ... will ... not ... rip.

Oh... Mah Goo ... Do you mean like this?

bag1.gif - 4kb

"Yes, you stupid shit"

Oh great and all-knowing Mr. Mah-Goo, we thank you for the wisdom of your insight. And what shall we call this great invention?

"Fucking Rip Stop"


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