New Olympic Games
I'd like to see some day

T   
he first thing I'd like to see I think I may have mentioned elsewhere. It is ... to put some brushes on the sides of the bobsled-luge track so that the freakin' times are separated by more than .01 seconds. How can a spectator judge who is doing well with no observable difference between winners and losers?

If bad driving were penalized by being obviously slowed upon hitting the brushes, it would make for a much more satisfying spectacle. Sports wherein the times or scores are ridiculously close are uninteresting ... unless ... you have head to head competition and they're chasing each other down the stretch toward the finish line.

In winter olympics there must be snowball fights

olympic1.gif - 17kb This is one of the most important omissions of the winter games. The rules are simple. If you are hit in the head you are dead (out of the game). Last man standing is winning team. If time is up, team with most men left is winner. There can also be points for various body shots if you want to get technical which is inevitable given the rules minded nature of of "officials".

Of course, the real advances are to be made in ...

The Summer Olympics

I want to see "assisted" swimming events. By assisted, I mean using primarily fins and hand webbing.

Again the rules are simple. You can use any device you want provided that it is human powered. For instance, you could use a submarine if it was propelled by a bicycle chain foot powered drive. In practice no one would use such a device because of the turns. This is for a regulation size olympic pool. People will just use fins, webbing and perhaps a pointed helmet to reduce drag.

I believe people would like to see such things. In winter skiing, no one would be interested in seeing olympic "trudging" through the snow in galoshes. Who cares? But they like to see "assisted" trudging ... with skis. Don't they?

And ...

Let's not forget underwater swimming. Everyone sees how far he can swim underwater on one breath. I once did four and a half laps at a local pool underwater. That amounts to about 50 yards. So, a real "pro" might be able to do ... what? ... 200 yards? I don't know. It would be really interesting to find out ... with and without fins and webbing.

Then we would know when viewing a film in which the hero is being shot at in the water and swims under while holding his breath ... whether the flick was Rambo'd or not.

Another important ignored event would be ... rock climbing.

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Here we are limited to traversing walls of limited height. So, I envision a long wall (150 yards?) and maybe 20-30 feet high. If the climber falls, he drops into water for a non-lethal dunking. There are assistants who walk along with his progress and jump in the water in case of a fall. The course is adjustable and changed for every series of runs. The climber decides his/her route on the fly or after study. Men may compete directly with women (finally it can be done fairly - I think). There are difficulty and speed aspects. Lots of potential here.

Finally, the Pe-ays de Rayzeestance

The Blap ...

One day while I was working in a warehouse loading trucks, I went to jump off a flatbed to the ground (about 4 1/2 feet). I caught my toe in the rail along the side where the driver ties down his tarp. Down I went ... flat to the concrete ... Blap!

The first thing I thought is ... "I must be hurt really, really bad." Then the awful truth sunk in ... I was not damaged in the least. No pain. No gain. Nada. Nothing. Zip. I just got up, dusted myself off and went back to work as though nothing had happened ... and it hadn't.

Needless to say, I began to wonder just how high one could jump flat onto concrete without injury. Hmmmm ... 5 feet? 6 feet? 8 feet? ... what??? This would make a terrific olympic event says I. True, it might be closely akin to the self-flagellators of the dark ages, but ... so was Diana Nyad, and all those crazy Iron Men and those fools who marathon through the Sahara in the summer.

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It would certainly be a crowd pleaser.
Wouldn't it?

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