Presidential Hee-Haw
Boring, Gushing election ... GoreBushev !

he recent elections troubles, though inconsequential to me, need some comment if only for the comedic value they possess.

I have no particular preference for either. I'm not a farmboy and so can't tell the essential difference between "dung" and "manure" which is presently being slung by both parties.

So ... who won?

Bush ... of course.

The returns are in and he won by the rules of engagement as accepted by both parties prior to the election. But ... buh, buh, buh, ... duh ... what about all the "blunder votes"?

Yep, that's all they are. Somebody's mistakes. They simply don't count.

Why can't they be counted?

Because ... to count them now is to renege on the accepted rules. Want to count one county? Then ... count them all by hand ... from all 50 states. The implication of a hand count in one or a few counties in one state is that these are the only counties in America that were miscast.

I assure you they were not.

There are bad votes all over the place and some measure of real unfairness throughout the entire country. If they were all recounted, Bush might even come out as the winner of the popular vote. Who knows?

The thing is that we accept a certain amount of unfairness and uncertainty in everything. It goes with living. We trust that in the big picture all the uncertainties cancel out and we are left with a reasonable count. Thus, for every miscast or unfair vote for Bush, there is one for Gore to balance it out.

If Gore truly wanted "every American voice to be heard", he'd want a hand count of the entire country. But then, hand counting is known to be less fair than a machine count. Biases enter into the equation and the outcome is even more uncertain and unfair. A machine, however, will "screw" everyone with unbiased fairness. Get it?

Gore is attempting to steal the election

... and he may yet succeed ... for ... no one seems willing to see the obvious fact here.

That at the level of the U.S. Supreme Court, there is nothing for Bush to gain and nothing for Gore to lose.

Why would the court even consider such a lopsided plaint? The intentions of Gore are totally transparent.

I think what we may see here is a "judicial" election ... of Gore.


To keep the Executive and Legislative branches from consolidating. Remember, if Bush wins, the Republicans control the White House, Senate, and House of Representatives. They can then address an explicit "agenda".

This is somewhat scary to me. Shades of Bob Doleful! Perhaps it would be better for the country if Gore does get in there ... then they will be less likely to get anything done ... like Clinton ... no major changes = no major f--kups !@$@!

The Supreme Court would like to see the other branches of government as anything but "monolithic" ... so ... divide and conquer. By installing Gore, they obtain greater power to themselves ... and that's what it's all about, isn't it?

There is another aspect to this case

They don't want you to comprehend this ... but ... the outcome of this election is really governed by ... not the "will of the people" ... but rather ... the law of large numbers.

Toss a coin millions of times and this rule of mathematics states that the outcome will more and more approximate (percentagewise) an equality. Each side has an equal chance of coming up.


The election is a coin toss experiment verifying the fact that Americans couldn't choose between the afforementioned "dung & manure" and so mentally ... tossed a coin (some tossed cookies too no doubt ;o).

No politician wants to see himself as anything other than the "people's choice". He wants to be popular ... truly. But in this case it is patently obvious that people saw no substantial difference in them.

In fact, every time I think of Gore as the winner, I wince. "Cheez" ... then I think of the alternative and wince again ... "Oh my God !" .

What I would really like to see ...

It comes down to a "real" coin toss ... heads it's Bush ... tails it's Gore ... she's up ... twirling, flipping, clankity clank ... spinning on the concrete ... and ... and ... and .......... it stops on its edge ... and ... and ....

Clinton stays in office for FOUR MORE YEARS !

Better yet, why not let my guy run for president.

He's been barred from ever running for office in America because he's a foreigner ... and ... the pols know that he would be a runaway winner. He couldn't possibly lose. He would beat any candidate any party could ever put against him.

The most popular candidate since Kennedy or even Washington !

My man ...

Nuev D'abf

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