the long and short of it

The following is offered as second hand information (though it does seem plausible).
So I do not guarantee its authenticity.

eems there's this unnamed Ivy League school ... post graduate experiment ... thesis for doctorate ... whatever. The kids (early twenties) decide to test the hypothesis:

The correspondence of crime to penis length

So they arrange with the police department of a large city near the school to set up a kind of candid camera.

In the shower ...

Of the jail ...

To measure ... well you get the picture.

Due consideration was made for water temperature, air temperature (held steady at 'comfortable'). Norms were applied by race, etc.
A reference length was on the shower wall at a fixed distance.


No correlation ...
one exception ......... young people brought in for ...

"defacing public property"

Length was ~40% shorter than the norm ... with all above considerations taken into account. The observer outpost became a comedy club as guesses were made as to the offenses of the 'observed'.

'Psych' Conclusion:

True "penis envy" of the sort previously and erroneously ascribed to the female. Not socio-economic-political reasons ... just penis envy.

When news of this reached the university powers that be, the entire matter became a nonevent. Citing possible lawsuits and tarnished school reputation, the perpetrators were threatened with expulsion and nothing has been heard since. Nor will it be ...

So ... girls ... if your enamorata has paint on his index finger ... it's what you do with it that counts ...;-)

And all of 'em had earrings too.

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