Date : 08/18/03
What I want in a Cell Phone
for $29.95

y wife has a cell phone ... but I don't. I am unwilling to pay all that money each month for something I rarely need. However it would be a useful tool IF it had enough functionality in a very small space. This is my list of what I want and I don't expect to pay more than thirty bucks for it. So ... when will I get it? It's just a matter of time, I'm sure ... maybe 5-10 years off?

Also, $29.95 is all I will pay. No contracts. Just pay as you go ... a phone card like I get at Sam's or Costco ... and I'm not going to pay more than 4 cents a minute to call Outer Mongolia or anywhere else on this planet ... and ... no more than 10 cents per minute anywhere in the solar system.

Size matters here ...

cellphon.gif - 17kb

I don't want anything extra big ... but I want a decent size screen so I can watch movies or TV on my phone (or play games). It must have at least 20 gigs of storage and 32 megs ram for MPEG playback since I will be putting all my music on it. Of course it will have GPS ... and ... it will come with a few little extra buttons that I can pin on my grandkids shirts so I can "ping" them and find out where the hell they are (and my wife as well in the mall).

This has minimal buttons on it. Just an on-off switch and maybe a volume control and select control and maybe a cursor controller. All the rest is done on the touch sensitive display.

This phone is programable and is really a small computer. Nothing new here ... just very skinny and lightweght ... and ... cheap.

It's got a reasonable camera and a flash for night pictures and it takes a "sound bite" with every pic and can be programmed for voice activation standby. You can then make a file which contains a picture as well as the sound that went with it. And ... you can make little short movies with it in which you control the frame rate.

You can also control your TV and other electronic equipment as one of the top ports will be infrared. This can also be used to communicate with your desktop computer. Internet connection is also available.

Bundled software includes a map maker so you can get directions.

This must also "talk" to you while you are driving and want to select a tune from your music list. It's something that Ipod should have but doesn't. Thus, you can navigate through your files and at each folder or file the machine reads the title. How? You just label it with your own voice and it plays that back ... easy.

An antenna is stuck in the shirt clip hinge which you pull out to get better TV-radio reception.

You can use a keyboard through one of the jacks to program or install just whatever.

It must be reasonably flexible so that it you can drop it without breaking.

And lastly,

"She gotta to have a big tits"

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