False Labor

he single most predominent form of work in America today is what I call "false labor". It's allusion to imaginary pregnancy is accurate.

Now, I don't mean work that would be unnecessary in the future or even work that is unnecessary now (because of ignorance). Rather, I mean useless labor in the most ridiculous way.

Like someone being paid to hold up a telephone pole which would stand by itself anyway. He gets real tired and goes home at the end of the day to tell his wife about the hard work he has done. Sure it's hard pushing on that stationary pole ... but ... completely unnecessary.
There is another form of false labor equally prevalent ... criminal labor. Here, people do a job in name only, like punching in then going to Burger King for breakfast, then to the mall, then home, then back to work to punch out. Ya' know? ... government work.

The actual bulk of false labor consists of pencil pushing. If you are typing all day or making out slips of paper and such, chances are that your work (regardless of what it pays) is fundamentally useless. Western civilization is "addicted" to records keeping - far, far in excess of what is needed.

A valid proof of this nonsensical addiction is found in sports records. Here the fanatic virtually "drools" over every base hit, home run, touchdown, free throw, etc. ad nauseum. Some even miss most of the game for burying their heads in the "stats".

Why are people so addicted to such arcane knowledge and useless record keeping?

I believe the answer lies, principally, in the phenomenon of science (as perceived by the culture in general). They see, truly, that it is wildly successful at dealing with nature. We can live by means of it. It saves our lives every day. It is ... in a word ... USEFUL.

For a thing to be useful then, it must emulate the scientific enterprise. How to do this?

We must have ...

  • Numbers
  • Acronyms
  • A Boolean record of More than or Less than
So we may assert that a thing is useful if it "needs 3 more hits and his ERA will be #1 in the league".

One of the most bizarre things in 20th century civilization is the emulation of chemistry. This is the creation of acronyms which were developed as official nomenclature - with rules - by chemists for one reason only ... there were too many compounds with wildly differing properties ... H2O, NaCl, DNA, etc.

Government does this to distinguish itself as "scientific" (D.O.E. - D.O.D. - F.A.A. - H.U.D. - etc.). Now, the computer industry is doing it in spades to fain "scientific sophistication". Computer development is not science, it is technology. Information theory is science and it doesn't use acronyms.

Essentially all government bureaus are subsumed by the S.U.C. (Screw U Citizen), while those of the new computer industry are designed to confabulate the unwary buyer into thinking that the "innards of duh 'puter" are unfathomable to the uninitiated (somewhat reminiscent of modern physics and mathematics).

Lawyers do something similar though they don't use acronyms. To appear scientific they use Latin. Why? Because lawyers latched onto the scientific bandwagon ages past ... before the heyday of chemistry. They are ... philosophers of science ... (Newtonian no less). Newton didn't use acronyms, he used Latin and since his work was useful ... Latin it was. To emulate science originally meant ... use Latin.

And, of course you are aware that Latin was used by science because it was - at the dawn of the Renaissance - the only "universal language".

A "horrible" example of false labor

I, personally, had the profound privilege of watching a master of false labor in action. A lawyer who was doing paperwork for us with the I.N.S. (ah hah!)

I grew impatient with this particular lawyer's service and had attempted (futilely of course) to fill out papers on my own. When he found out about this he "accelerated" his efforts on our behalf and accomplished in three hours what had previously required 12 months.

It was both astounding and nauseating.

We sat in front of his desk watching and listening as he said nothing of consequence and shuffled endlessly the same pile of ~50 papers (ours - all necessary documents to be sure!) for the full three hours. For the first hour I was getting nauseous, this gave way to wonderment and finally, after about 2 1/2 hours to AWE ... INCREDIBLE ... absolutely incredible.

The wondrous display ended abruptly with the sentence ..."and you should get your kids in about 6 months" (and we did). ... He saw that he had "milked us dry" and could get no more out of us ($).


All people in government are unified in their outlook on existence, I have found. They have but one credo ...

Existence is paperwork ... there is only paper ... there are no other existential entities

This has been drilled into me and I have come to terms with it. I have patience. I know that when dealing with the "govment" that if a paper says I am dead and I am truly alive ... then ... I am dead.

If a paper says that I am alive and I am truly dead ... then ... I am alive.

The only thing that counts is what it says on the paper. Your task, should you choose to accept it, is to somehow get them to change the paper. To do that you must get a translator (lawyer) to tell them (in triplicate) that "it ain't so". Govment rules:

  • Three papers beats one paper
  • An original beats a copy
  • An embossed seal is proof of "Original Document" status
  • All official documents are in English
  • If you have a paper you are a truth teller if not ... end of the line.
  • You must bring all of your documents with you to every government office (in triplicate) even if they have nothing to do with that office (in your way of thinking, of course).
  • Everyone who is alive must have a picture of his head about 1 1/2 inches high showing his right ear.

You see what I mean? 50 million Mexicans pour over the border illegally each year but I need a picture of an ear? Their intention here is just to "make work" ... To justify their existence as important. ... To tread water in an incomprehensible reality.

It is false labor.

An Ebtex Conjecture

If everyone in the United States was completely honest, and each worked and did his job to the best of his ability, the total amount of work to be done to maintain the present civilization would average
less than 1 hour per week per man.

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